Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
When you screw up, menopause can be a wonderful excuse for stupid things you do or say!!!
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
Word for the day is asstard
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
Today I caught myself smiling ... I was thinking of you ... DonΒ΄t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.