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I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
All milk is breast milk.
Not to get technical… but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Know your customer. Think like an idiot.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.