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Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone`s food pics and posting the calories.
To say I wasted today would be a huge insult to the producers of the 3 movies I watched.
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
If I ever get real rich, I hope I`m not mean to poor people, like I am now.
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
More people should be at a loss for words.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
I just spent a lot of time trying to form a thought when it would`ve been easier to just say, "F*ck it."
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.