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Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right
Whenever a little kid asks me to push him on the swing I remind him there are children his age in China making iPhones.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
You make me want to be a drunker person
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
What’s the answer to this question?
I read somewhere that we only use 10% of our brains. I wonder what the other half is for?
Serving size ?? LMAO
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Honey, tact is for people who aren`t witty enough to be sarcastic.