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you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
We can operate a robot on another planet, but yet I`m still struggling to get this vending machine to take my wrinkled dollar.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
Do Me: a favor. - Punctuation is important.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.