Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Was the little pig who decided to built his house out of straw some sort of f***ing idiot?
You took the time to make your minivan look like a reindeer, but you can`t take one second to hit the turn signal an inch from your fingers?
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
I suffer from premature procrastination. It’s when you procrastinate before even receiving a task.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
I like to punish people who ask me how I`m doing by giving them a detailed description of how I am doing.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
When your wife says she needs a new broom it`s best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.