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I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Your so vain...you probably think this post is about you
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
Safe words are for quitters.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.