Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Always keep a note in your medicine cabinet that says, “I thought you were peeing?”
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time.
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
My son got one of those `Stop Bullying` wristbands. he took it away from a fat little ginger kid.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
The only thing I drink from a shot glass nowdays is Maalox.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?