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Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
The downside of DVR is getting freaked out by tornado warnings from four days ago
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
I wish that we lived in a world where a chicken could cross the road without getting its motives questioned.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Roger that command center, we have arrived at our destination and will commence countdown..............Sir this is McDonalds how may I help you
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because Iām terrified of the electricity bill.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.