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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
I`m 28 years old, but in marriage years, I`m dead on the inside.
There`s a big difference between knowing what time the liquor store closes, and what time it opens.
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
Remember ... I can always make it look like an accident.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
status uploading
Reincarnation is my only hope.