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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
"I`m only having one" ...said by many, practiced by none.
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
is confused. Oh wait, maybe not.
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.