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why earn money when it comes easier when you just ask
That urge you get to write, "No one cares" on someone`s status.
A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
I hate people who say "Age is just a number" — Age is clearly a word.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
I`ll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions.
gone fishing ¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.