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Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
You will never find the right person, if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
Not now, I`m busy bringing shame to my family on the internet.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?
I ordered an Asian hooker last night. She showed up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time.