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Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.