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Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
I do yoga to relieve stress. Just kidding. I drink wine in yoga pants.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.