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Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
My religious preference, is for you to steer clear of me with yours.
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
Iām taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you and your motivational crap is far away
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?