Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
I saved someone`s life today. Well, I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of some idiot. That`s the same thing, right?
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
Own the day
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
Your pants say yoga but your a$$ says McDonalds!!
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.
scientific fact: never tell a woman she`s crazy unless you want to see crazy.