Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
It was so cold out today i actually saw a few gangsters with their pants pulled up.