Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
I was looking all over for my ambition today......well, It wasn`t under this 12 pack, so I`ll look tomorrow.
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Iām not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
I walked briskly with scissors today. Iām pretty wild.
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Iām not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
My IQ? ... With google or without?