Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Can’t wait till I’m old and I can play the ‘fall asleep’ card in awkward situations.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
By the time I’ve said “Nice to meet you” I’ve already forgotten your name.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.