Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
Really close to my perfect target weight. All I need now is one more stomach flu
May you have a prosperous New Year. I may need to borrow money.
If the zombie apocalypse happened in Vegas…would it “stay in Vegas”?
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
These are not pizza stains on my shirt they are pizza memories, wonderful wonderful memories.