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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business" always be followed by, "but"?
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.
For most things there’s MasterCard For everything else there’s Vodka
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
Guys you should never overreact when you hear the words, " The babysitter is late."
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
Be thankful your GPS doesn`t get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.
The Family Reunion went pretty good until they all figured out that I wasn`t related to any of them
Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?