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Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Never, ever ask a woman if she`s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
is easily distracted by shiny objects.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
What ? Who ? Exactly my point. Now move along and go read something else. Nosey !!
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.