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Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.
If any of you ever want your kitchen painted orange just give a six year old Cheetos for lunch and tell them not to make a mess. Works every time.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
"Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who`s pointing out a constellation
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.