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They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
Go ahead, post sober. Ruin everything.
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.