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If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
about love
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.