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Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I`m typing this with my middle finger.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
If it rains on a dream catcher, does that make it a wet dream catcher?
I decided I`m going to be poor... Its Cheaper :)
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to live and eat healthier and then not doing anything with that information.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
I’ve found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore.