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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
People be like… I will love you unconditionally on one condition.
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
It`s not that I like watching midget porn, it`s just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
Things I`m confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
Did we try giving the government a snickers?