Daily Silly Status

Your life must really suck when no one even likes the catfish version of you.

There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.

I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.

I typed bitch into my GPS and guess what? I`m in your drive way. Vroom, vroom mother f*%ker.

I`m not lazy, I`m in energy saving mode.

My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness

May the bridges I burn light the way.

Getting to places would be so much easier if I had a helicopter.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.

Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14

You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch

I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.

I get the whole 3 meals a day thing but I`m confused about how many at night?

I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.