Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Wow! My political opinion just changed because of what you posted on Facebook” – said no one ever.
Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
Actions speak louder than words when you smack someone in the back of the head with a shovel
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed.
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.