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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
Note: the 5 second rule does not apply to soup.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn`t even apply for the job.
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.