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The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator, where I couldn`t reach them. Then leave chemicals right under the sink.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
sleep is for people without netflix
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.