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Beer is good, but beers are better.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Your personality needs alcohol.
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
If kidnapping is a federal offense, then why is marriage legal?
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!