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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.