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I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.