Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
I didn`t see anyone important today so I`m going to wear the same clothes tomorrow.
I broke my finger today. But on the other hand I`m fine.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
“Dad, I’m hungry.” “Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.” - Every time.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.