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If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
I fake my LOLs
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I`m sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.