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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
I’m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don’t want to hang out with you now… but I’m still very proud…
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
Oh honey, you`re not pretty enough to be that stupid
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
When life throws you curveballs, swing at those motherf*ckers like Stevie Wonder with a lightsaber.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.