Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business.
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to f*ck you.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
Life is hard, it`s even harder when your stupid.
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
Sorry I`m late, my alarm didn`t go off, because I didn`t set it ... because I don`t like coming here
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.