Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Why is that in girls tampon commercials they dance and laugh? Shouldn`t they be revving chainsaws and burning sh!t down?
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
Last night I was drunk and asked a cat if it could talk. It said, “Me? How?”
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.