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I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
They say women only use 10% of their anger
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
Fun Fact: Valentine`s Day was created by a woman than didn`t get what she wanted for Christmas.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.