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No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
I always keep a Mexican restaurant on speed dial in queso emergency.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
My sex tape would just be called Home Alone.
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
They`ve got this brand new machine at the gym. I only used it for about an hour because I started to feel sick, but it`s awesome - it`s got Mars Bars, KitKat Chunkys, Cheetos, crisps.... everything!
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.