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Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
Looking back, it was a good thing I was too wasted to fire up the chainsaw.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Every time I stop making bad decisions, I get more and more boring.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go f*ck yourself.
Do angry people know about naps?
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
If someone invites you to their wedding, it`s apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can`t make it but I`ll come to your next one".