Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I once peed a girl`s name in the snow, so don`t fcuking tell me I don`t know romance.
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
My bank is the worst. They`re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can`t even afford to be broke.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
It`s weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
Congratulations on becoming a homeowner! From now on, every noise you hear will cost you money.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!