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Running on two hours of sleep Iām either way too happy or violently homicidal.
Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
Iām in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
Why is it always "I see you drank all the beer today!" instead of, "Oh, honey, that was so sweet of you to help clean out the refrigerator."
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
I stopped watching the History Channel because it`s so outdated.
Trying to remain humble but Iām the most famous person in my living room right now.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
What the world needs is a self help movie, cause lets face it, most of us won`t buy the book.