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If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
All women are bad for me. At least that`s what my wife says.
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
In reference to why men can sleep with lots a women and it’s fine, but women can’t sleep with lots of men or else they’re whores. “If a key opens a lot of locks, it’s a master key. But if a lock is opened by a lot of different keys, it’s just a sh!tty lock.”
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.