Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”