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A fun way to get exercise is grab a chainsaw and chase a hiker.
Nobody really owns tupperware. We are all just really borrowing it from one another.
Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
What’s the answer to this question?
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-