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Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
It must suck when billionaires wake up feeling like a million bucks.