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The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
Go ahead caller 9!!
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.