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Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you`ll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.
You`re the reason I wake up everyday. Just kidding I have a job.
I think that work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
I used to be so broke when homeless people saw me coming by they would hide their change cups.
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.