Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
Well today I turned 26, not because I wanted to, but only because Facebook limits how many times you can actually change your birth year !
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
Strip search? ... Fine, but I`m going to need some background music.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out