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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I will kill you."
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
A "long story" is just a short story that no one wants to tell.
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
I don’t have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.