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Quite honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have even pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Some of you are so dumb, I don`t even know how you found the internet.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
I`ve found a new coping mechanism....................COOKIES!
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.