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Someone should use screen recording software to record an entire day’s worth of working on spreadsheets and post it to YouTube so that I can play it full screen and pretend like I’m working.
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
It`s weird how we are all here because of boners
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I`m 82.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.