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The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
I’m going to start wearing Summer’s Eve as a cologne. The vast majority of beautiful women seem to be attracted to douches.
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?