Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
2 words, 1 finger.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
Is it wrong to use cheat codes for Wii Fit.
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
The trouble with living alone is that it`s always my turn to do dishes.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?